"I told you not to play so roughly! Now.....sweep up your brother and put him in the recycling bin."

- Despite their obvious displeasure, Howard never regretted his decision to have his tubes tied.

- Your "laminar mixing" is not welcome 'round these parts! If you have any sense, you'll turn around and haul that square arse of yours...

Alan gets caught cheating on his wife. - AHA! I knew it!!

- Would you PLEASE hurry up?? You have been on there for ages!